(12/30/2023) I think it’s John Keats who said “Touch has a memory”. I miss my cat Minnou, and the head bumps he gave. I’m profoundly sad as my cat Minnou who went out to wander on Christmas morning hasn’t returned. Not sure what happened to him. I walked around the neighborhood looking for him, but as I don’t know where he goes, or how far he ventures, it was really a futile effort. All I can do right now is search my community web page, local SPCA web page to see if someone turned him in. I’m clinging to the hope that he is ok, may be someone caught him and kept him and may be he is lost his way as he ventured out too far chasing a rabbit. I considered it an acceptable risk to let my cats go wandering considering the small span of life they have and I gave importance to their happiness above all else. So here’s to the hope that he would come back to me someday and he is still in our family prayers.

Update (12/31 – 1:20 a.m): Minnou came back. I went to bed around 12 a.m. and woke up to a loud meow and there he was, he came home !! my heart felt like it’s going to explode with the joy, sadness, relief and all sorts of emotions. I hugged him tightly and gave him two cans of food. He lost weight and he is clearly traumatized. I don’t think he was hurt, but he is just got lost. He is sleeping now and I think he is running a little fever. But I want him to recover so I’m not taking him to a vet yet. He stirs a bit in the sleep meowing and I’m calling out to him assuring him that I’m here for him. By the time I went back to bed it was 5 a.m.

Shout out to 2023 – We have survived this year. This is a shoutout to people who started their 2023 in a bad place. Who felt like things were already out of control so early on this year. Who started the new year in pain, in grief, in fear. Remember that most things in life are temporary, and even when the sadness feels overwhelming, it isn’t all you have, and your suffering doesn’t make you less worthy of love

As we are about to start another year and y’all say it with me. I’m about to walk into a soul nourishing year and will make it a most successful year. It is worth to remember some of the many reasons why it is special to be alive. Bats hear shapes; plants eat light; and bees dance maps. We must hold all these ideas at once and feel both heavy and weightless with all this beauty and the absurdity of it all.

As Ann Lamont said, gorgeous, amazing things come into our lives when we are paying attention. To overcome my dull ache and sadness as I was missing minnu, I turned to Bach and a big fat chocolate mousse cake (this is store bought and not from a French patisserie, so it’s not that rich). I always turn to Bach. I spent endless lonely nights with him. There are some pieces of music you always return to when you want peace. When you want to slow down. When you want to relax. Those musical pieces are formative experiences in your lifetime. You connect with them.

Bach must have known how something flutters away when you turn to face the face you caught sideways in a mirror in a hall at dusk and how the smell of apples in a bowl can stop the heart from beating for an instant; and the stars of ice that spread across the window panes and everything is perfectly still until you catch the sound of something lost and shy beating its wings against those darkening stars. And then: music. The musical urge to hear and know until I merge with the dynamics of it all and become my own unique modern day symphony.

On 12/29, I joined a face book page called “West Chester – What was that noise” because our neighborhood has been reporting some big booms with no known source or a concrete explanation. I mean these are like large, noisy booms where the earth shakes, etc. I have been curious for a while now even though I have yet to experience the noise first hand, but as it is my neighborhood thought i would join the fun and read through the explanations.

Time, by slowly working in lengthy durations, has updated memories; erasing all the pain, leaving only smiles to reappear, and helping joys to lean into the shadows; drawing tiny suns there at leisure.

This year has been a year of growth. I learnt to have more room for life, more learning for fun, more taking care of myself. It felt vulnerable at time. But we (I) experienced it all, with strength, perseverance, and love. It’s ok if everything wasn’t amazing. We had good memories and accomplishments despite the rough patches. Here’s to a lovely, full banner for the coming year as well !!