covid19

life in the time of covid-19

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

camus’ “the plague” is absurdly relevant these days…  hence forth, year 2020 shall be called “the year of the plague”.

on a reflective sunday morning, looking out the window at a beautiful sunny day, i was thinking about our life as it is these days…. but first things first ! thank the god almighty, who protects those who chose him. he gave me this promise when i was staring into the abyss with no direction and i would like to share this with you all. “he that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty. i will say of the lord, he is my refuge and my fortress: my god; in him will i trust. surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. he shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.” psalms 91:1-4 kjv

i have been preparing since january and still got overwhelmed with all this mostly because people are idiotic and came to office sniffling & with sore throats; and yes a tiny little virus, has brought down the entire world to halt and on it’s knees. and there is rampant panic and i admit it that i am anxious because i am in the high risk category as i’m asthmatic and i don’t want to tempt fate. of course, me being scientist who worked with various pathogens before i know how to take care of myself but that’s a lab setting, and this is real world. i am taking precautions when i go out and as our company encouraged it, i am working from home.

we may be heading for the complete lock down and staying home for months, may be a year if we are lucky, but i’m thinking probably 18 months and being home doesn’t phase me at all on account i’m a born antisocial and so i’m in weirdly privileged position of not being heavily affected by all this social distancing in terms of mental health as i would rather stay home than converse with idiotic people.

how am i spending my days you ask ? i’m chilling with my wee units / i’m reading books / working while listening to classical music /  exercising / making art / playing games / learning new things / investing money & buying stock (perfect time as we are in bear market) / researching stocks / buying objet d’art / buying books / organizing my house & cleaning / i spend more time for morning family worship with my wee units and the boy (when he is around) / cooking meals / debating (and fighting) with my scientist colleagues on facebook about everything and honestly i am happy because this gives me so much of intellectual stimulation. on the whole i should say i’m more productive than before.

and also tom brady left patriots & oh well, life goes on… while i’m really pissed but i see the hand of his wife behind this or he just may realized that he is getting old. who knows.

for those who need social interaction to have a good mental health, here’s a little list and you may add to it

  • clean. being in a clean house will make this so much nicer. if you’re stuck in your house all day, being in a clean home will help. plus, it’s a good exercise (i’m motivating myself).
  • if you have a garden, plant some stuff for spring, tidy it up, feed the birds, whatever.
  • if you have a netflix watch list, go through it.
  • if you’re sick, change your bed. i’ve been cleaning my sheets every other day. it’s nice to have fresh sheets.
  • watch documentaries
  • change out of your pyjamas, even if it’s just into a hoodie and some sweats. you’ll feel better.
  • be creative… paint, collage, sketch. try and improve your skills. get creative!
  • call your family and friends! facetime or phone.
  • rearrange your furniture, create a new ambiance.
  • have a clear out of clothes you don’t wear anymore
  • read !! read books you haven’t read yet or reread your favourite books. get lost in a different world.
  • teach yourself something. i like to study stuff in my own time. botany, human evolution, space, anything. learning stuff is fun when you’re not getting graded on it.
  • fuck it, learn a new language. i’ve been polishing my french, hindi, spanish language skills while learning german & am snoozing my way to the top.
  • bake, cook, make something. create new recipes.
  • if you’re sick, open the windows. its recommended for covid anyway but its nicer to be in bed with the window open.
  • watch nature outside your house. for like half an hour today i watched birds. i counted about 37 this morning.
  • nap
  • journal how you feel or vent to someone. its frustrating being stuck inside
  • make a bucket list

bliss, french roast style !

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

wake up, here’s coffee, the boy said and how can one not listen to someone who is warm and soft and bringing me a cup of coffee ? and off he went after kissing my forehead as i stayed home to rest and recover. yesterday (sunday) i came down with sudden fever and runny nose and i decided i will stay home as i thought i would get worse. but by this afternoon, i started feeling much better and i started wondering if my asthma condition is actually working for me instead of against me as i had had a few cold / flu episodes but they didn’t last more than couple of days and yes these episodes onset suddenly and violently but they are gone before i could say to myself “i should go to a doctor”.

when i got my asthma episode a few years ago (2011), i begged and prayed to god to make my lungs stronger but i think as it is always with god, he knows what’s best for me and now i’m convinced that he is delaying in order to prepare me for corona virus.i am thinking that corona has no chance with me and in all probability i would be susceptible but i think it would pass through me quickly as i’m an asthmatic and because of asthma, my lung architecture is already changed and my body is used to coping with little oxygen, fluid in lungs and all that good stuff, asthmatics regularly put up with. also, as yours truly is a very wise woman, since the first news broke about wuhan pneumonia like disease way back in january, as a scientist i knew it’s only a matter of time it will spread and get to the states (but i didn’t think it would spread this fast) and i started on an immune boosting regimen and thus i’m quite prepared for the eventuality of covid 19 infection (including updating my beneficiary list).

as the market is in free-fall i have spent the last few days moving around the stocks and monies and adjusting the money i save every month. i think i will probably diversify into precious metals and need to research the coming days.

i spent the weekend putting together the gorgeous lamp and trying to organize the shit i dragged home from the storage to sort out and throw out. i made few appointments for next sunday to interview for a housekeeper. the day light savings time is upon us again to my distress and we lost an hour of sleep. i have been getting up an hour earlier than necessary for my kids’ sake as my kitties have been needier lately, and want to cuddle me when i’m trying to get ready. so i have been getting up earlier so i can give them enough cuddle time before i leave.

the dinner-date we had the other night was the best since i have ever had in since the past few years. date nights are nights where couples go out and try to keep the spark alive or have some “we” time. even though we don’t need a “spark” to keep our fire alive as we combust the moment we touch, i discovered that the boy is my best friend. and during that time, we bonded, we talked, we laughed, and we discovered that we both are vulnerable. the whole time we only existed for each together. no phones, no distractions. from the beginning till the night ended our bubble was not disturbed. the energy of that night are what dreams are made of. we had dinner, then went dancing all eyes were on us, some good lol some bad but they still wanted what we had. we kept smiling and giggling.  smiles and giggles and here i go again. that i want to trust him but i’m scared not of vulnerability but of his looks of love.

it’s amazing really when you find this one person – the one you never thought would fit quite nicely in the space of your heart as if it’s meant to be there. though as far as you’re concerned, your heart has always known – it danced before you even took the first step forward. it’s beautiful and it fills you with so much love that you don’t know whether to burst and or to run far away so i won’t go through a free fall.  and then he  reaches down and brushed a strand of hair off my face and it felt like butterfly wings fluttering against my cheeks and i was muttering to myself, “stay, stay, stay” because that, i’ll never get used to that and i hope he doesn’t either. i hope i fill him enough because he fills me enough. because this beautiful boy who touches my dark parts like they’re light, who explores me with such curiosity and vigor that i’m breathless each time he drags his fingers over my skin and it responds in goosebumps. and i kiss him with feelings of gratefulness because sometimes words aren’t enough.  and thus i’ve learned the language of his touches and he has learned the definition of my sighs and i nuzzle closer  because he’s there, with his smiling eyes and gentle hands, giving and showing me love the way he knows how. and i’m teaching myself to stay and not run away. fingers tightly crossed !