first snow

First Snow 2024

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

2024 started slowly for me. I’m mentally exhausted the first few days as I’ve been tightly wound-up because of my missing boy Minnou and now that he is back, I’m trying to relax my sadness away and it is quite exhausting. It’s a feeling between relaxation and exhaustion. And on the top of it, I have to get back to work, and I was a bit tense to leave the kitty boy home because he is still not yet fully recovered and not eating a lot. But cats are resilient and they have this zest to live and survive, so I’m kind of ok.

There was much talk about the impending snowstorm forecasted for today (1/6) like the skies are gonna fall off. Whenever there is talk of snow, even like a itty bitty nano-inches worth, the grocery stores are out of everything. I’m pretty sure everything was cleared off the shelves but I haven’t been to the store. Why do people panic so much whenever there is news about snow or heavy rain, and behave like it’s end of times ? Like, please, unless you have small children, you can survive a few days without food. I was slated to go to church today as per usual and I debated if I should or not, but I did go as it’s the first Sabbath of the year and didn’t want to start the year without gratitude, as you know, I have much and many reasons to give thanks, at the top of the list would be for bringing my kitty boy back home.

When I started out it was slightly flurrying which melted before we could say “hey it’s snowing” and after church, I checked the weather and it was like “heavy snow”. I was like, oh I need to be careful when I drive and then I walk out of the sanctuary and NOTHING. I knew that we probably won’t see much, if any, accumulation but I was expecting a “heavy snowfall” to make an appearance. I got home and took photos as an evidence. See what I mean !!  

And it wasn’t even a proper snow. It was snow-sleet, where it starts off as snow but then partially melts and freezes into ice when they enter the warm air like the current circumstances. No self-respecting snow would call all the white stuff on the ground as snow. After sundown, I went out with a broom to clear off the icy slush from the stairs as we use the stairs (my kitty boys and me) and I didn’t want to slip and break something, as I’m sure come morning, my boys want to get out.

Reflections

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

It snowed a little today (12/7). It didn’t stick but I still think we should have gotten an impromptu off day. I think we could get rid of some the holidays and install a few new holidays like, first snow day of the season; we will greet each other, “happy first snow” and we would all celebrate by making hot chocolate and eating cookies and snuggle up with pets and warm blankets and this should be mandatory. And for autumn, we will get a holiday as the first golden (or red) leaf comes floating down; and we would greet each other “happy golden (red) leaf day”; let’s go home and kiss our pets on their moist noses; and feed your little kitties. Kitties are always starving even if they were just fed. Aren’t they a joy ? I love cats so much !!

I love  Autumn / Winter. And I like snow in theory, and when it falls fresh and covering up like a new blanket; something soft and rare and cold. I like being cold but with warm feet. I have a electric blanket and somedays I have AC on and with my feet wrapped with the soft warmth of the blanket as it tenderly caressing my feet. And this time around especially Christmas, people somehow remember about other people like something suddenly popped in their mind or an alarm going off, jogging a memory, which seems to say, “oh right, you are also human”. And they become benevolent and generous.

It is the first snow, and Winter season; and something small in my heart is finally warm again. I have vague memories of how I spent the past few years just going through the motions. It felt and feels blank and urgent, and I’m thinking I would never actually feel again. It may sound very trite and extremely stupid – but that is the boring and familiar experience of absence or loneliness. You watch your life just washing up against the panes of your glass windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and warming but it just feels too thin, too flimsy and too unoriginal. I am desperately uninterested in my hobbies, in life and unimpressed by my life. I told myself and often, I don’t know how to find interest in life again. Interestingly when I look back, I always told myself I am ok.

And almost flimsily and shyly, something strange, something ethereal and lovely is burning in my chest, I avoid looking, worried that it will run back into the shadows like a frightened animal, and that I would lose it. Do I dare looking at it ? Could I dare to sink my hands into its fur and feel it’s warmth and feel the slight rise and fall of it’s breathing ? I’m afraid that if it’s real it has the power to hurt me by leaving.