january

into the mists

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Driving to work on Wednesday (Jan 24) and Thursday was just a glorious experience for me as the mornings were layered in thick fog and dense mists (slightly drizzly) and the mornings were just enough cool and with low clouds enveloping everything and making the visibility quite low. But I loved it !! I love the mist; I could get lost in the mists and it covers up the ugliness; making everything look just right, fresh, naive, innocent, mysterious, unknown and strange and gives an illusion as if we are looking back at a former memory.  While driving in the mornings I listen to worship songs and on these mornings I have messianic jewish alliance group’s worship songs (which are in hebrew). And that made the experience more profound. I could be the only person on the road. I have recently came upon this group on youtube, and I just fell in love with the songs which I don’t understand by themselves as I don’t know hebrew, but they kindly provided translation on the screen so I can follow and these are such powerful words and right for my soul. And the whole experience was truly transcendental. (for eg: Praise to Our God 5 Concert Ashuv Eleicha; Praises of Israel – Halev Poretz; Hebrew worship from Israel – Father of all mercies)

I haven’t gone in on Tues as our building had an inspection and I stayed home to make sure my babies won’t freak out when strangers come in.

I was at the church for the sabbath (Jan 27) services and I went a bit late, I ended up sitting on the last pew. There were three people in the pew in front of me. A white guy flanked by two women (indian ? or some other country with similar skin tones).  Anyway, both girls literally sandwiched him and I was confused. Time to time, we get visitors of all kinds and of course it is a sanctuary, and it is open to everyone because obviously savior is designed for sinners. One woman is pregnant. The other woman was clinging to this guy so much so I thought may be she is the girl friend but then again the other pregnant woman was also showing similar show of affection and I’m ashamed and embarrassed to admit that these people took up all my attention more than the church service. Anyway, as I said God is for sinners. After the church service, I stood up and was putting on my coat when the guy stood up turned around and shook my hands and greeted me with “happy sabbath”. So at least, the guy is familiar with my church and I am further ashamed for thinking negative thoughts about these people without knowing for certain what their relationship is.  If I find out more, I will let you know.

It was a rainy Sunday and what else is new ! For a few days now, I’ve been picking up a leaf here and a leaf there (dried of course) which were seen in my little apartment and I thought, I was bringing them in from outside as they were stuck to the bottom of my shoes when walking in. But the leaves are always nice and unbroken. So I was mildly curious and I have finally cracked the mystery today (Sunday). It’s my baby Sonu who apparently is on a quest to find the best leaf or something like that. He is bringing them in once a while (he brought two today) and is bringing one leaf per trip.  He brought in a leaf today while drenching from his head to the tip of his tail. I have to take a photo of his new found fascination.

On Sunday (Jan 28) afternoon I had to go to the fedex shop to get some brochures printed for next week’s church services and also pickup my weekly provisions. Before I left I called the fedex to find out if I can get it printed right away as I need one of the associates to do this for me and the guy assured me that it woud be done right away. But when I went there, apparently right after my phone call, he got a big job so now I have to wait. I was furious. I mean, I bothered to call and find out and stuff and I organized my chores around this. But I was in a pickle and had to wait. So I was in a corner fuming and was waiting, needless to say, somewhat impatiently for my stuff.  Another chap walked in and obviously he also needed to get something printed and the associate goes “sorry I have a big job to finish first and then, do you see that young lady with the cloud on her head, she is next in line”.  I ask you !! if I were literally have a cloud on my head I would probably send a lightening or two in his direction !

Here are a few of the mist photos.

Winter – January Edition

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So we had our full taste of winter, with proper snow and ice and slush. Snow arrived a day earlier than it was predicted, late Monday night (Jan 15) and by Tuesday morning we had snow and later in the day sleet followed. We didn’t particularly have a lot of snow per se, I forget now, but I think it was about 2 to 3 inches but later that day, it turned into sleet / a little bit of freezing rain, so it totally became sheet of ice and as the temps dipped by Tuesday night it was a bit miserable by Wednesday morning.  I worked from home on Tuesday and worked on removing the layers of snow as I know I have to get into work on Wed.

So come Wed morning (Jan 18), I was in my car a half hour earlier than usual to warm up the car because the morning temps were at 9 F and the windchill is probably in -ve something F. There was a big message on my car dash saying “pressure dropped. Add air”. I never added air in my tires and it was like 6:30 a.m. and no one would be open, even if they were to open on time but with the weather we had the previous day, I wasn’t too sure if they would even open on time. So I parked myself in front of a car mechanic place and after an hour later they arrived so I could get air in my tires so I get to work.  The mechanic explained why the air pressure went down and that I could probably have been fine driving but I didn’t particularly want to take a chance as it was bloody cold out with winds. The roads were well maintained thankfully so had no further issues.

As if to have a repetitious theme, we had another round of snow on Friday, so we again went through the motions of dusting off the car, warming it up, etc.

In the meantime, my kids were very miserable, because I won’t let them out, and I kid you not, if I let them, they will go out in the chilly wind, and also low temps. I don’t mind them going out but for the fact that there is snow and the temps are way into single digits even without windchill factoring in and I don’t want the snow thing sticking to their paws and may be between their toes and I don’t want them getting frost bite. But of course, they don’t understand no matter how much I explained.

I let Sonu out on 1/17 and it was the quickest walk he did. He took a couple of steps and backed out. But he ventured a bit more on Friday’s snow but I was scared that he may go down, so I got hold of him and brought him back inside.

Minnou didn’t gave me a lot of trouble as he just tries to open the door to escape. But I learned to lock the doors. Sonu is a first class passive aggressive kitty and eloquently grumpy. See his royal highness in all his glory of being eloquently grumpy. He plants himself in front of me and stares me down and sometimes making his eyes half closed as if he is squinting and if looks could kill !!

I also exchange slow blinks with him when he is in good mood and he loves to give soft bites when he is feeling lovey dovey !!

Temps are supposed to improve this week and we would go into balmy 30s and may even hit 60 come Friday.

Here are a few photos of snow and Sonu.

warm sunday

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

2018/01/21

today is going to be a balmy 52 degrees in my little corner of the universe, as was yesterday, and i am happy as a kitten. my kitties zazie and cheeti and bastet were extra affectionate with me and hugged and hugged and hugged and then they decided i needed a bath and so they took turns and bathed me with their tongues…..

while having breakfast, i talked to my kitties about relationships and being happy and always choosing to be with someone who is emotionally intelligent and wanting to be loved by someone who understands the way i need to be loved and not how they want to love; and how well we all (kitties and i) waste time together while laughing and singing the whole time. i wish i could share these wasteful moments of laughter with you.

i keep thinking that i’ve been living in a haze and i don’t know what to feel anymore but i know that it’s okay, it’ll be okay, everything is always okay. it’s a certain kind of warm outside, warm like the bellies of my kitties and yesterday, after church, i had been driving around all day, doing one thing or another and missing connections and making connections and now i just want to clean my room and turn on some jazzy jazz jazz  musique till it’s time for the sports and maybe give myself time to center myself and figure out what i’m doing here.

i love a lot of things and today i love you even more, and i think that my heart’s finally a little too full for this morning and i keep sighing with content. i need you here with me, holding me and sighing with me. i’m soaked to the bones with the warmth of the sun and someone needs to wring me out and hang me up to dry.

ps: philly’s flyers (ice hockey) won and now am watching patriots (american football) which is a definite win. a bit later, eagles are gonna play and it would be interesting if they win tonight.

bitter colds and warm hearts

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

2018/01/07

my heart is warm y’all,  in spite of these frigid temps. horus, my itty bitty kitty baby is doing well and he put on some weight, he was at 6 lbs and now at 10 lbs and i am actually happy for this weather as i get to stay home these four days (i was home since wednesday) so i can feed my kid every 4 hours and got to cuddle him and kiss him and tell him ‘i love you’. i can tell he is feeling well already as he is purring and his eyes are bright and shiny and he even meowed a couple of times.

my winter sads have been coming on strong in the past days as it’s colder than iceland (apparently), so i’ve been fighting back with sun worshipping by hanging onto the windows along with my kids and colorful vegetables, chocolate mousse cake, touching plants on the street when i went for walks to get circulation going, and thinking about green, and listening to pascal obispo and love songs with my cats who are good for me like sweet potatoes.

my kids and i have been suffering from cabin fever and i really would love to go for a long drive but i haven’t been out very far in my car since wednesday. on friday evening after sabbath started, i thought i would go for a ride to check out the roads because i wanted to go to church on sat morning, and after two blocks i got stuck in icy slush and i was kicking myself mentally when a young man came and unstuck me and while driving away i thanked him profusely and i returned home and decided not to go out again !

this morning there’s a mysterious puddle in my kitchen and i am wondering if some water pipe broke but i am in no mood for bad news and as long as my kitchen won’t flood and i don’t get to wade or swim, i am firmly shutting my eyes and pretend everything is ok.

here’s a funny fact. i was watching news, and apparently the cleveland browns (foot ball) team didn’t win even a single game in their entire season, and so the browns fan had a protest parade for a “perfect winless season” and i saw one guy with a little placard which said “they tried” and i fell off of my bed laughing… haha !

i’m looking forward to going to work tomorrow just to shake off some of this laziness and i want to stretch and work out and start working on my future course work. i had a little chat on friday with this guy and he gave me some ideas and obviously, my transition has to wait, as he wants me to do some course work in finance and he promised to find me little projects for me as a taste of things to come. and oh my gym closed abruptly and i have to now find another gym pronto or i shall go insane as we are on a winter break for ballet as well.

i am content and i am happy. an elder from my church sent a little inspirational text with a story. one day a man was crossing a bridge, but he was scared so he turned and asked god, can i hold your hand so i may not fall ? and god said, “no my child, i will hold your hand”. the man asked “what’s the difference?” and god replied, “if you hold my hand and something happens, you might let go but if i hold your hand, no matter what happens, i will never let you go”.  i feel that way, that no matter what, god got my back and i know god will have my back for the rest of my life.

looking at the soft shapes of my cats has warmed my heart and now i’m just sitting on the floor in front of my lit fireplace, chewing on a piece of french bread with brie and grapes, and patting my legs and sighing and i am content.

i’ll soon get up to make some coffee to finish off my light lunch and go do my laundry, give my babies their lunch and then will settle down to watch “the frozen dead” on netflix.

hey hi hello friends ! hope you’re all well. hope you can find a way to be happy in all this ice and snow around, even if you have to make a town of igloos to do so.

a bientôt !