everything feels really fragile right now. i know that everyone is scared, anxious, unsure about the future. and rightfully so. but if anything, let the current moment serve as a reminder for all of you social beings, of how much humans need each other, of how much they rely on each other, and more importantly what our duty is to each other. if we practice social distancing and maintain good hygiene, we both protect ourselves from catching the virus and also protect others by reducing our chance of carrying it and passing it on. wishing all of you health and happiness in these uncertain times. may we all, even if not literally, be there for each other.

not that much changed in terms of my schedule except that i don’t have to get out of the bed at a god awful time to get dressed and run to work. this is a great change and i welcome it. and oh, of course, i still take a shower, and put on a clean shirt… oh the other advantage is that the break from the bleating of terry at work regarding his dietary habits and other crap. he would complain on and on if there is someone to hear it. there are two people he complains to a lot and unfortunately i’m not deaf and so i can hear every single word & he almost became a white noise; he is a very flaky person with no substance & who puts on airs of someone who is intelligent when clearly he is not and  every fucking day, he would complain on and on about this & that and i would just shut him off by listening to some music and my poor boss, started thinking that she is the reason (as i can hear her as well when she is on calls for her meetings) that i’m putting on headphones.

watched a couple of movies vincent and the end of the world (flemish / french), el hoyo (spanish) watched my sci-fi shows. read & reading books; ordered the new asterix comic books; bought more stocks and now debating if i should buy more of my company’s stock; don’t feel great about my company’s performance tbh; waiting on the temps to get warmer so i can plant stuff in the garden;

my church started airing services online and for the first time since i became a seventh-day adventist, i kept sabbath as god intended. i attended the church services without wasting time to travel to church & enjoyed services because of the technology. when the directive came to not have crowd gatherings of 50 (and then 10), my lover was extremely rejoiced and his happiness was short-lived and now he must attend services if he spends time with me or he must go home.

oh, all my kitties came down with sniffles and as a scientist two things i observed; my kitties all came down with upper respiratory infections and currently being given the medications and wondering if there is any bearing with covid (indirect, like something i brought into home has corona virus strain b or i may have already been exposed to covid but as i expected it just passed through me quickly); as almost all my kids are senior kitties, i have a tendency to leave their wet food around in bowls, & plates around the house whether they eat or not; i feed them in the morning and before i leave for work i put out more food and once i get home, throw out the remaining food, and feed them their evening meal, and put out food for the night. you see, my wee units are very picky with their food like their mama and they take a bite and go away and few mins later they come back and eat more. because of this constant food supply, and the windows of my house are always open, there are many flies buzzing about in general to my disgust as the trash in the bins attract flies; but since this covid saga started, no flies can be seen and am wondering if there is a correlation. scientist me, making notes of my observations !

i’ve been stocking up on my kitties’ medication (for minor fevers & ailments, etc, i diagnose and treat the kitties myself). also, last sunday, one of my cats had a huge asthma episode, and after subsiding her attack with albuterol and starting her on prednisolone, i ran to cvs to buy her the inhaler (as it’s no insurance it was bloody expensive $300). and to get more prednisolone for my wee units, on last friday (day before yesterday) i was driving to my vet, and i thought there would be no one on the streets, or to an extent less people. believe it or not, my neighborhood is somewhat quiet but as i was coming towards philly, i saw huge numbers. and i was a bit shocked to say the least. i went and i got the medications, and my vet and i were talking about groceries. so, as i am a vegetarian i have no problem getting fresh veggies & fruits. i had some difficulty finding half & half for my coffee & i was bleating that i may have to start drinking black coffee and my vet told me go to shop-rite, that they are well stocked. so i dropped by the shop-rite, and what a fucking mistake… it was teeming with people. i turned around and fled as fast as i could.

the stupidity of people is beyond my comprehension. i keep thinking that i have come to grips with the human pettiness and stupidity, and then someone goes and does something even stupider, surprising me. case in point, people are dying by thousands and we are still not even at the peak ! and the disease is spreading exponentially and still people are behaving as if there is nothing going on or as though it’s mild case of flu outbreak; stupid teenagers on spring breaks and the partying on the beaches and what not ! honestly, they should be shot !! i actually was dumbfounded when my colleagues at work behaved as though this won’t touch them ! and then there are a few who keep forwarding me “fake news” just ’cause i was being unfortunate to be included in these group texts; and then there are this other category of people who pile up on toilet paper and i’m like why ? this is not cholera ? and even if you run out, that is not the end of your fucking world as all you need to do is jump into shower ? and i have seen this before when people hoarded stuff at the mention of snow; to be fair as i don’t have human children, i’m not hoarding that much and i also think that me being vegetarian doesn’t help in hoarding. so i go out late every other day, to get some veggies and fruits and i would be the only one who would have two or three items 😊

i have so much stuff i need to do around the house, ugh. it’s been weeks of just kinda… maintenance mode. and now i can’t even get a fucking cleaning help. which i know is okay, considering all that’s going on, but it doesn’t really help stave this restlessness, you know ?  i’m incredibly fortunate, especially since both me and my boy can work from home, so i try to focus on that. it has been nice, all things considered, to finally have more time with my insanely overworked lover. it shouldn’t have taken a crisis for his hours to be more liveable, but we live in a capitalistic landscape.

anyway…

pace yourself people ! we are in this for a very long time and so no need to go through all the things which you need to do. if you haven’t already grasped reality, let me explain to you. we may never have normalcy till they find a way to eradicate this virus. not two weeks, not two months. this virus, if it is anything like it’s zoonotic sister variation, if you are exposed, and lived, it will stay dormant in you and will become active when your immunity is down and then kills you. i’m also predicting that if you got infected, even if you live, your lungs may severely be damaged, with lesions, probably scar tissues, and may even end up in getting cancer. it is very tricky virus and it knows how to survive. this is a single strand rna virus and i’m pretty sure is is mutating from person to person and so the genome of this virus is not the same in any two people. and so, no chance of having a good cure.

so stay the fuck home if you have no business to go out ! if you must, wash your hands every time you touch something.

like elnor says “choose to live” !

(star trek: picard)(goddamn proud to use this reference)(waiting to use it for ever !)