snow

i dreamt of snow

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

Yesterday I tried to go to work because my boss said she will be coming in and she needed help with some project.  It was snowing pretty hard and I spent some time removing the snow and it was about 6:15 a.m. and the snow was wet and heavy. Anyway, so I started driving and it was really scary. For the first time I knew what it means to have white out conditions. Like it was really bad. I couldn’t tell if I am going to hit a car in front of me or not as the snow was like a gossamer veil on my car and even though the wipers are working hard, the snow was still sticking to the windshield and to the side mirros and side glass windows. So after half hour, I gave up my stupidity to be valiant and get to work and came home.

I spent the superbowl game night at the emergency cat hospital. My heart is heavy because Minnou, my lovely boy, has a tumour and it may be cancerous. Since his return back from getting lost, he wasn’t himself. He lost weight and I thought it could be because he was lost and not getting to eat. But his appetite is down and he wasn’t eating his treats. On Sunday (Feb 11), I scheduled a massage and when I got home, took a shower and then took a nap. The kids were napping as well, but I woke up suddenly because I thought I heard some one meowing. When I looked around, the only kid who was awake was Minnou and he looked a bit down. I thought of making a vet appointment the next day but he looked so miserable, so I dragged him to the vet. The vet did a onsite ultra sound and she thinks he has a tumor but we need to schedule a proper ultra sound. I am so sad but also very optimistic because I feel that God is telling me he will be ok. I know I sound stupid but the same thing happened when he was lost the whole 6 days. I was afraid for him, praying for him and crying for him thinking the worst possible things and in all that this voice kept telling me he is fine. Anyway, I feel that Minnou will be ok, I will get him a surgery if needed but no radiation or chemo because I don’t want to torture him. And if it’s God’s will that it’s his time to go, and when his time comes, I will let him go. But for now, I’m keeping him happy and feeding him a lot so he can keep up his strength. Meanwhile, i’m wrestling with God to not break my heart again.

This afternoon and part of the night I barfed all over the facebook because Tom Brady said his coach Bill Belichick is the reason why he left Patriots. I ask you ? Seriously, dude ? Of course one guy was like, why can’t Tom say this. Tom can’t say it because Tom should show gratitude to his coach. One should always be respectful to one’s parents, teachers and any other mentors, even if they are bad.  All relationships have disappointments and disagreements. That doesn’t mean Tom should go on Jerry Springer show. Also, in my opinion Tom’s problem and the reason he left Patriots, was his ex who probably wanted to move to Miami as she has roots in Latin America. I feel sorry for Tom but as much as I still think of him as a great player but as a person, he just flaked and showed his true colors. For me a person’s integrity comes above his athletic skills. 

I am enjoying my hebrew worship songs so much i feel i’m drawing closer to God and knowing Him more intimately. Plus, our sabbath school quarterly is on Psalms and it was profound and moving. I recently came upon the song “Lev Tahor” by Messianic Jewish Alliance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs2rYz55qyg and it just makes me fall down on my knees and cry !! It’s a song they wrote for Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) based on Psalm 51 and we sing english version all the time (Create in me a clean heart). But the way this song is sung makes you face yourself and repent. It’s moving. Simple and humble whisper of a broken, crushed heart, before Him, Who can restore and forgive. Also, I have to remind myself not to close my eyes while driving to work, because I’m fully immersed in adoration of the Lord.

This morning I got down to my car to go to office and I saw my car was still covered in the some snow (obviously accumulated after I returned back) and like a fool, I left my car’s snow clearing brush in my apartment and I wasn’t going back up the stairs. So I took some paper towels and started digging at the snow which now was hardened because the temps dipped over night. I was struggling and I was about to go back in the car because I don’t have my gloves too and so my hands were freezing when my neighbor, Ben, whom I passed when I was getting to the car, and who was sitting outside smoking and having coffee, came by and handed me his car brush. I burst into laughter. And I was like this is much better to remove the snow and he went “yes, compared to that mighty paper towel” 😊 I thanked him and I have to get him something like some sweets or something for being so nice.

It started as a rain event on Monday (Feb 12) evening and evolved into sleet and then snow. And yesterday morning there were periods of heavy snow (white out conditions which I experienced). Yesterday’s fast moving snow storm dumped several inches of snow into some areas and my area got about 2 to 4 inches, and hightailed out so fast leaving some reminders. But then Sun came out and worked hard to melt away most of the snow. While driving to work I realized that the roads were quite clear and if I don’t have the photographic evidence of the snow and some snow which still stuck to the grassy areas, one would have thought, we all dreamt the same snow dream. It’s like a winter magic. It’s a Winter Kiss.

One of my colleagues went to work and I told him he should be getting snow right about now and he sent me a photo of clear skyline. And mine are of course, heavy with Winter, February edition.

View from Top – Time about 7:40 a.m.
Philadelphia Skyline while I was drowning in Snow

Winter – January Edition

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

So we had our full taste of winter, with proper snow and ice and slush. Snow arrived a day earlier than it was predicted, late Monday night (Jan 15) and by Tuesday morning we had snow and later in the day sleet followed. We didn’t particularly have a lot of snow per se, I forget now, but I think it was about 2 to 3 inches but later that day, it turned into sleet / a little bit of freezing rain, so it totally became sheet of ice and as the temps dipped by Tuesday night it was a bit miserable by Wednesday morning.  I worked from home on Tuesday and worked on removing the layers of snow as I know I have to get into work on Wed.

So come Wed morning (Jan 18), I was in my car a half hour earlier than usual to warm up the car because the morning temps were at 9 F and the windchill is probably in -ve something F. There was a big message on my car dash saying “pressure dropped. Add air”. I never added air in my tires and it was like 6:30 a.m. and no one would be open, even if they were to open on time but with the weather we had the previous day, I wasn’t too sure if they would even open on time. So I parked myself in front of a car mechanic place and after an hour later they arrived so I could get air in my tires so I get to work.  The mechanic explained why the air pressure went down and that I could probably have been fine driving but I didn’t particularly want to take a chance as it was bloody cold out with winds. The roads were well maintained thankfully so had no further issues.

As if to have a repetitious theme, we had another round of snow on Friday, so we again went through the motions of dusting off the car, warming it up, etc.

In the meantime, my kids were very miserable, because I won’t let them out, and I kid you not, if I let them, they will go out in the chilly wind, and also low temps. I don’t mind them going out but for the fact that there is snow and the temps are way into single digits even without windchill factoring in and I don’t want the snow thing sticking to their paws and may be between their toes and I don’t want them getting frost bite. But of course, they don’t understand no matter how much I explained.

I let Sonu out on 1/17 and it was the quickest walk he did. He took a couple of steps and backed out. But he ventured a bit more on Friday’s snow but I was scared that he may go down, so I got hold of him and brought him back inside.

Minnou didn’t gave me a lot of trouble as he just tries to open the door to escape. But I learned to lock the doors. Sonu is a first class passive aggressive kitty and eloquently grumpy. See his royal highness in all his glory of being eloquently grumpy. He plants himself in front of me and stares me down and sometimes making his eyes half closed as if he is squinting and if looks could kill !!

I also exchange slow blinks with him when he is in good mood and he loves to give soft bites when he is feeling lovey dovey !!

Temps are supposed to improve this week and we would go into balmy 30s and may even hit 60 come Friday.

Here are a few photos of snow and Sonu.

cat and a cake

/ mycatisafrenchspy / 1 Comment

It’s been a while since I got into the mood to write as it has been raining, and raining and raining and apparently been raining. To top it, we had a lot of winds (gusting at apprx 50 miles / hour) so it was not fun at all. Mainly ’cause I park my suv on the street and sure enough, there was a big fat branch which broke off a few meters from my car (1/9 – 1/10). Not fun  !! as I’m writing this (Saturday night 1/13) I can hear the winds again, and also our temps are  tumbling down to below zero for the next few days and they are calling it for snow. Our forecast about snow now-a-days is like we think it’s gonna snow but may be not. So for Monday night / Tuesday they are calling for pretty white cold flakes to fall from sky. Will they ? Won’t they ? Will we get an inch ? may be six inches ? What we know for a fact is we once again have another “it may. It may not” day coming.

 I don’t know if aging is a good thing or a bad thing or it’s just a thing, which we can’t avoid, but I feel like aging really suits me on the inside. Especially now, since the day I met the stranger, who inadvertantly caused a chain reaction in me, and shook me out my cocoon, so to speak. I feel more independent and important, constantly pushing myself and discovering things I wasn’t aware of before. I’m growing into my skin once again, and unfolding my wings, gaining strength, and ready to take flight.

I decided to not pursue the stranger. I’m, however, grateful to him and I do entertain this fictional romantic life with him. It’s like my secret, to have a recurring fantasy about him; with him and probably if I have a mind, I could make it into a soft porn. I figured this too shall pass. Especially if I don’t know him. And I don’t want to know about him for sure, purely because, I don’t want to get crushed.  I’m afraid to find out if he has someone or that he is not all that I made out to be. So this is safe in my opinion. Also he is an american and their idea of romance is, huh, non-existent. And I need thorough romance; like I need to be serenaded, write me poems, and give me fresh flowers every day and tell me sweet nothings. Also he is in accounting and they work with numbers. So basically very emotionless. I have been praying about him though for his health and well being in general.

Here’s my darling sleeping Minnou tucked in a bread basket which was a part of Christmas gift my boss sent. Any shipping containers which I receive, are repurposed for a while, as sleeping boxes for my cats. I throw them out after they get soiled or if someone decides to throw up a hairball on them. Somedays I have multitude of boxes which drive me insane. Minnou recovered a lot from his adventure of getting lost.

I was relaying this story to everyone I know of how he got lost and somehow found his way back. The title I gave to this journal entry is cat and a cake which is quite suitable because of the short story which wrote itself. I previously mentioned that I bought a big fat chocolate mousse cake on 12/30 and lo and behold, on 12/31 the kid returned. So I made a dent into the cake on 12/30 and I didn’t have the necessary sadness to finish the cake because my boy returned and now I have a big fat chocolate mousse cake in my fridge. I tried to bring it to work but no one showed interest and now I’m sure it’s stale and I have yet to throw it out. May be I should freeze it like people do with their wedding cakes as a souvenir of the lost and found cat !!

I haven’t made any resolutions per se, but I did think of living a stress free life. So remove all stress out of my life or as much as possible. I’m trying to make small changes in my lifestyle as I need to shed some pounds which I gained as I was on some steroids (prednisone) which I was stupid enough to take as they are pills and so they are systemic.  But I guess when you are struggling to breathe, things like I will put on weight goes out of the window. Now that I weaned myself off of them, I should be able to shed the weight (fingers and toes crossed) easily enough. To that end, increased water consumption and carving out a regimen. Also having completely destroyed my hair with blow drying, spent a small fortune investing in hair oils, hair masks, bloody expensive shampoos and treatments to nurture my hair to grow back and get the necessary hydration.

And oh ! oh ! oh !! Laboriously made a list of books I want to read this year. I must admit, last year my goal was way way waylaid. It was quite embarrasing really. I listed out about 30 books so far but I want to read at least 50 books. I’ll post the list once I get it done.

I wanna spend more time in the sun and smile more at strangers and stretch my limbs and focus on the details of everyday life and eat more vegetables (work towards becoming a vegan) and nourish my body in every aspect and do things for others just cause i can and  save bugs from being obliterated.

I have been listing out small joys: waking up to the sound of rain, endless hugs from cats, buying myself fresh flowers, discovering new music, pretty sunsets, laughing until my tummy hurts, slow mornings, long showers, random acts of kindness, crawling into bed after a long day, driving with the windows down and singing at the top of my lungs, discovering words for feeling you never knew existed.

I essentially live on tumblr when I’m home; scrolling and looking at videos and photos of cats, or baby animals or any animals really. I need help !

sans douche….

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

 

y’all,  i’m a showerless siren (that’s the subject of my email to sandalwood) & i didn’t shower since tuesday & i’m home frolicking with other noshower beings…

and look how gorgeous & free we all are…!

on friday, my power went & i stayed home with my kids in spite my friend jack insisted i go stay with him; but i didn’t ’cause my kitties are my family & i thought it’s only fair to go thru stuff as a family & so we bundled up & ground our teeth & ugh….

i did shower on sunday ’cause i had to go to work on monday, & thus j accommodated my showering needs on sunday & monday; monday my power did come, but my furnace’s pilot was off, & so still no heat & no hotwater but i had space heaters so it wasn’t that bad but well, no shower !

wednesday we had a snow storm, & i stayed home, and thursday i stayed home & i told my boss “i’m not coming in as no shower” & friday i’ll be taking off as my furnace tech is coming & so….

excited about finally showering (or not)…

thaw !

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

2018/01/12

i’m 3% sassy and now a days, i can’t walk sassily because of all the thaw and the resulting slippery floors. better rain than snow, though.

i’m exhausted and quite frankly want to just stay under the covers and not interact with any humans. and these subzero temps we had last week knocked my breath out.  this monday there was rain just in time for the evening rush hour and because the ground was frozen solid, all the rain turned into ice and i left an hour early so i can go home safe and sound and still i found that the walk home was slippery and perilous and i ended up walking in the middle of road. the next morning i was in late as all the ground has become ice and i had to wait for the sun to come up and melt a bit and when i got to work, i saw that terry left the papers on the ledge for me and i smiled ! that’s the best feeling i ever get. terry kindly gives me his wall street journals once he finishes with them and he leaves them for me and this little gesture of his makes me smile every time ! it’s the same feeling i get whenever i got flowers or unexpected texts ! while julien was good with flowers, jace wasn’t so much on flowers but he left little love notes everywhere for me to find. even now, i find a note here and there and this warms my heart plenty.

today was so lovely in terms of weather. it drizzled the entire day and i dreamed of sitting in a small café with terry (for lack of a name for a lover), eating soft cakes and scones and drinking tea.

i worked hard on my future plans this week. had chatted with people, met with people with good information and am getting ready. i’ve fairly good idea the direction i want to move and i made an appointment with my boss so i can check with her about what she thinks.

when i was a child, i always thought by this time i would be settled with a good husband, two children and a house with a white picket fence and maybe i would have been a professor or a poetess.

and oh the heart breaks i have to endure instead ! this is me starting all over again and some days i honestly want to throw in my towel (i kid you not… i want to literally pickup a towel and fling it down with all my might !) or throw myself out of the window.

but as life would have it i have kids and they need their mum. horus is doing well and as i had to feed the kid like  every four hours, and the first feeding sake i started getting up at 3 am to feed him and then i would feed him again around 7:30 before running out of the door for my job and after i get back home, i feed him again around 6:30 and the fourth feeding at 10:30 pm

and because of these early morning feedings, sometimes i don’t get back to sleep at all and so i am walking around a bit zombie-ish. but he is my child and i will take care of him, even if i have to for the rest of his life and mine.

his doctor kept bitching about the fact that i brought horus in for a f/u checkup at day 11 instead of 5 to 7 days and i explained to him it’s because of the weather, but he kept bitching and i was annoyed and pissed a bit but he is my baby’s doctor and you don’t yell at someone like that so i endured his continued complaining. before i left i told him i would have brought him in if he wasn’t doing well or worse.

and honestly though, my child is doing well and still not showing interest in eating but now he is responding to me when i call him and comes up to me and sleeps in my bed and his eyes are sparkling like diamonds. i often wonder if i should date a veterinarian and marry one for my babies sake.

i have decided not to go out these three days as we have a long weekend… just have a pile of blankets i have to wash. there’s a big match this sat evening between eagles and falcons (american football) and for my american boy sake i want eagles to win but the odds are way big as eagles suck. i’ll update you with glee the moment the game is done and also patriots will be playing tonight as well but their win is a definite.

i’m getting ready to do another feeding for my child but i have been pondering lately about this and i’m hoping to find an answer…

how to stay light and fluffy and soft in a world which pricks and stings ?

well, my darlings, hope you all stay light and fluffy and soft in spite of the thorns.

à demain !

update : on the nfl game…. well, eagles won against falcons in the playoff by the skin of their teeth but a win is a win. they will face vikings this sunday (jan 21).  patriots as i predicted won with ease…. can’t wait for them to win this superbowl !

allez, allez patriots !