writing

amor fati

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

i want life so full of curiosity and answers, joy and adventure

i want a break from my usual routine

i’m willing to experiment and be spontaneous

may be a new romance with the old you, or a revitalization of a current you

i’m in a mood for unexpected pleasures

a more playful adventure which would make our lives delightful

i want my dreams to come true

i want to feel a certain something for a certain someone

i want to translate my feelings without a thought

i wish i could capture your heart

if you are here right now, i feel i could and i would

i would touch your face

i would look deep in to your blues (eyes)

i would kiss you full on the mouth

not french kiss. just a kiss

not passionately; no tongue involved

my lips would be slightly bruised

i would mouth the words i love you

i will run my fingers through your hair

i would kiss your nose and rest my cheek against your cheek

you would whisper the words i love you

i’ll lean against your chest, while you caress my breasts

you make me wet

i’m aware of my growing emptiness which can only be filled by (with) you

i would feel your desire for me come alive; hard, throbbing

i invite you in (to me)

open arms, open legs; slightly quivering

I’ll lock you in and I’ll embrace you with my arms

i’ll run my hand on your back; slightly squeezing your fleshy hips, stroke your testicles or balls if you will

i’ll answer your urge with my own; we become one in soul, and mind

i enjoy the force of your ejaculate

still sticky, still wet, still sweating, i nestle against your chest

before i drift into sleep; i will open a book (lord byron) and read you the words dripping with lust

in your arms, i’ll go to sleep (peacefully) tonight. . .

 

“If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same”- Kipling

p.s.

/ mycatisafrenchspy / Leave a comment

10/23/2017

i forgot to mention. i usually do a project every year (end of the year) on tumblr… like a writing project. i want to see if i can do a blog project and if anyone is interested you may send me your confessions or stories for me to put on the blog and i will not publish your name (or details) unless you want me to do so. please send them to email address… heavyheavyboots0317@gmail.com… c’est tout !

also i will be posting some of my old writings on this blog…. i may name them amor fati series.. and i am excited !

 

li’l confused me

/ mycatisafrenchspy / 2 Comments

i started this blog as i wanted to share my writing about this boy i have a huge crush on and i was kind of posting the writings on my other social sites but he started reading them and i got suddenly scared. i love writing and capturing my day with words and as this boy is usually a major part of my day he invariably crops up in my writings. my feelings are confusing because i shouldn’t feel for him as he is in a relationship.

yesterday archana and i went to max brenner as she is visiting from california after a long time and before she moved to california, she and i loved to hang out. i don’t befriend many people but we became friends. i have another blog but it’s kind of linked to a religious organization and so i decided i will keep it clean. i have a very strong vocabulary and sometimes it’s too much and so my writing will be uncensored here and it will also serve as a journal.

and in this blog i want to vent things related to my feelings; my feelings about this boy; my political views; anything or everything which bothers me or makes me happy;

archana and i caught up with each other’s life; she told  me that she had two miscarriages and i told her how my husband died; we consoled each other; we didn’t cry because we are strong. she has gone back now to her home, to her husband.

coming back to the boy, my confusion or may be it’s not confusion. archana says i shouldn’t bury my feelings because he has a girl friend. as long as he isn’t married, she says, i should explore and leave it to the “universe” hahaha… by that she meant leave it to God. she is a hindu so…  i sort of understand what she means but i am like but i heard the boy say he is working up to ask his girl friend to marry and i am like ugh ! i know he isn’t married but i want him to be happy… i had very traumatic endings to my relationships (two) and i don’t want anything but being content and happy and he makes me smile. but i am also scared. so i am doing the best thing i do… write ! and write !

see you soon, dear blog !